Saint me, saint me.

WOW. This is like my fourth site.. I have one in Friendster and two in Multiply. I think I have another one, I just don't remember. Bah. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not one of those internet huggers or computer addicts. Maybe I just cant be contented with those sites of mine.. or maybe not.

I love writing. For some unknown reason, I always have these crazy or cool ideas on my head.. I always have something to write about. Is it maybe because I think too much? Too much that my head cannot handle 'em anymore and automatically sends brain commands throughout my body which pushes me toward the computer or a notebook and makes that huge sign in my head I WANT TO WRITE? Haha. See? Crazy. Anyway, I'm not complaining about my need to write.. It's just that, I have this problem about consistency. Which really does not come handy in writing, especially in blogging. When you make blogs or blogsites.. you really have to check on it everyday or at least every other day. Am I right? It's not fun when you suddenly abandon your site for like, a week or so. Haaayy.. This inconsistency actually goes with everything that I do. And i despise every moment of fit. I always have great ideas or plans.. or at least I have plans.. but whenever I start to do them, I can't seem to finish what I've started. It's either that, or I don't do them at all. It's sooooo infuriating, I tell you. For example, I make schedules for tomorrow or for the week or even for the whole month.. and then, I start and I successfully accomplished the first 5 to-do things.. and then suddenly, I get to this point where I feel less motivated so I stop. Grabe, I wasted the whoooole schedule thingy diba? The worse part is, the plans were really really good. What's worse than wasting a very good chance of being a better person?

It scares me actually. What if, I'm inconsistent towards my life? You know how each person has his/her goals and dreams.. and of course, there's the path right in between. So, no matter how good my goals and dreams are, I can't accomplish them because of my stupid inconsistency? Dang. Do I need an inspiration? Cos I think I don't. Maybe, I need to be much much more determined and focused on what I'm doing. And, I have to really really want or love what I'm doing.. so that I can enjoy it and, at the same time, know that I need it in my life. Yeah, that's right.. I have to really (times a billion) push myself. Haha. Sigh. Sounds easy when I say it..

So, coming back to the blog thing.. I think this might be one of the challenges I'm going to handle. Through this, I can fight (is that the right term for it?) my inconsistency and my lack of motivation. I WILL WANT NEED to finish this. :) Halleluja!

I hope I didn't sound prophetic or dramatic.. Haha. My sincerest apologies if I did. So this is it for now. More mental blahs next time. Ciao. <3>